The Hound Of Ulster

Matthews GOES to the Angels.

Matthews agreed to a five-year, $50 million deal that includes a partial no-trade clause. The deal is pending a physical.

The no-trade shocks me. Sure, it’s a partial one. But still.

Keith Law REACTS.

The problem for the Angels is that they’ve committed to him in time and money as if he is legitimately a .313 hitter, against overwhelming evidence that he’s not. When you also consider that they’ve signed him for his age 32-36 seasons, and that even today he only has fringe-average range in center field, this contract is likely to turn south for the Angels sooner rather than later.

But here’s what he has to say about the FINALIZED Pierre DEAL.

The fact that the Dodgers just committed five years and what will probably be way too much money to a player whose ideal role is “defensive replacement/pinch runner” is mind-boggling. It’s almost certain that Pierre will bat first or second in the Dodgers’ lineup (you don’t bat a $9 million player eighth, even if that’s where he belongs) and those 500-odd outs he makes every year will go a long way towards holding the Dodgers’ offense down.

Ouch. I remain a bit confused as to why the 500+ outs negates the 200+ hits. And I’m pretty sure he’s still more likely to produce at his level than Matthews. Plus, there’s no “no-trade,” as far as I know.

But it’s still a weird contract, and no mistake.

I’m taking a couple friends down to Los Angeles International today - which means THIS is not particularly great news.

Millions of Americans began their annual dash home for the Thanksgiving holidays Wednesday, with more travelers expected to take to the roads, skies and train tracks this year than last.

Nationwide, an estimated 38.3 million people will travel 50 miles or more for Thanksgiving, according to AAA. The estimate is up by a million from last year.

Great.

Still, it’s superb, spectacular, glorious news compared to THIS.

Authorities said the cleanup might slow traffic throughout the afternoon. The California Highway Patrol said the cleanup might continue until 4 p.m.

The northbound 405 Freeway remains open, but traffic is slow.With all southbound lanes closed, holiday traffic en route to Los Angeles International Airport backed up quicky. At 11:30 a.m., the backup extended into the San Fernando Valley.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Authorities think it “might slow traffic throughout the afternoon” if they shut down the SB 405? What are we paying these “authorities?” Cause it’s too much, whatever it is.

I’m already miserable, and I haven’t even started.

First of all, the fact that the United States has an Education Secretary named Spellings seems too coincidental to ignore. Someone had to do that on purpose.

And secondly, it would be nice to do better than THIS on a quiz show.

In the end, Spellings said she thinks the effort was worth it. She came in second behind the actor Michael McKean, best known for his role as ‘Lenny’ on the television show “Laverne and Shirley” and for the movie “This Is Spinal Tap.”

Placing third was actor Hill Harper, from the television show “CSI: NY.”

“I think I held my own,” Spellings said in an interview Tuesday, hours before the show aired. She noted McKean had an edge, having been on the show before.

Spellings was the first Cabinet secretary ever to appear on the popular quiz show. She said she’d like to return for another try.

First Cabinet secretary to ever appear on Jeopardy? Wow, we’re just breaking new ground all the time, aren’t we? K-Lo has the OFFICIAL spin. Also, CHECK out the video. Feels a bit like piling on, really. 2nd place doesn’t seem too shabby, and I’m not sure why we should expect our Education Secretary to be a great Jeopardy champion. It’s a trivia show, after all. (And I have no idea why everyone’s worked up about the Quayle thing.)

This e-mail makes that POINT, and it’s a good one.

First, I watched the show. It’s not so much that Spellings did poorly, as McKean did great. Just because he played Squiggy and David St. Hubbins does not mean he’s an idiot. His improvised work in the Christopher Guest mockumentaries tells me that he’s actually very smart. He proved that last night.

Second, it seemed to me that Spellings lost ground on the pop culture categories. I think that an actor has something of an advantage over a bureaucrat when the category is movie quotes.

Blue Notes has their (his) Pierre THOUGHTS up. Not particularly strong one way or the other. More of a “quizzical yawn and shrug” response. Which seems about right to me. The guy gets 200 hits a year, for goodness sake. How bad can he be? Sure, the $9M-per is steep for a guy that “only” gets 200 hits. And he is not a good replacement for Drew. But he’s not replacing Drew, either. He’s replacing Kenny.

And THIS is a fascinating article. Probably a bit too conspiratorial to be true, but interesting none the less. The significantly lessened contract numbers are particularly unique. I haven’t seen anything in that range yet.

But the GM says, “It’s not your typical negotiation. He can’t go back or he’ll lose face. You’re talking about a guy who’s only made $10 million in career earnings, whose highest salary in any one season was $2.5 million.”

The GM suggests a five-year offer for between $5 million and $6 million per season could be enough to get a deal done.

“You’re telling me he’s going to turn that down?” the GM says. “What’s he going to do? Threaten to go back to Japan for two years?”

It’s Boras, so don’t count anything out.

Robert Altman PASSED away today, at the age of 81. A controversial director, he had a style and message all his own - far more auteurlike than almost any American director that claims that particular title. I respected his film much more than I enjoyed them, which is probably why my favorite Altman film was one hated the most by many of his fans: Gosford Park.

High school kids are going NUCLEAR now. If they can do it, why can’t Iran?